untitled draft 5.5

smile until they forget you
give good advice
say something that sells
listen
nod a bit, sip a drink
find illumination - not today
pretend there's no walls closing around your head
make a witty remark now and then
you're so smart
don't die
not yet
not while everyone's looking
laugh of their stupid jokes
say you're sorry even if you don't care
(they'll do the same)
breathe
catch a star
ignore the squid grabbing your ankles
forget you're drowning
say you miss them
don't ever see them again
sing like a child staring at a wall
don't die - not yet
it's not worth the effort
it's not like anything's gonna change
you should find a job sometime
find a love sometime
find a hobby
get a life
since you don't have any

You are the first song of the morning dawning blankness upon my chest
as the city spills its dreary grin -

the ghost of Love lurks by the door
and her hopeful stare is frightening

There’s a smell of art as I lift the lid
but this shrine is a curse of a gift
for my pain is as sharp as its keys
reminding my hands of sirens

‘Mother dear, I cannot work the loom’
since all the colours I weave bear the same eyes
since my skin will be forever torn and sewn
to cover your poor son’s wings

Summer is fading and so am I;
there is peace enough but my heart is a stallion

Oh innocence, can you hear the sobbing walls?
The blinding sound of sunset blessed the hammers with her haunting presence
Purity is a buzz detuned and fragile;
her arms are now too small for my agony

(the ghost of Love lurks by the door -
I stare at the ceiling
with a mouth full of bees)

Mother of pearl

I am an oyster.
I float in the tears
of the whale mothers
and of all homesick sailors.
I feast on crumbles
And understand them.
I live off the lashes of the sea
so she and I can weep together.

I am an oyster.
I have thousands of hearts beating on every shore,
my guts are made of sunlight
and green serenity.
I greet fishes
sing with corals
and watch the seals in their winter ballet.
I turn my wounds into jewels,
for I will have to wear them.

I am an oyster and you eat me alive
and now I squirm and twist and yell just to stay aware
before the sea claims me as her child
before I cease to hear the bubbling shores
at least, you say, I have
a pretty shell.

Solêr

Let me, let me go
let me swim asleep
unaware of the dancing mermaids
and feel cold

let me stretch my tongue to the Autumn sun
who watches me through the window like a bitter cat

let me float along the deck towards the sea
feel the moistened wood under my feet
breathe with every step
let the wind evaporate my skin in motherly embraces

let me return to my cradle
oh this warm piano
find this place which soon will be my limbo

Immerse into solitude
And emerge with a smile

Unsayable

Written while I was listening to the Brambles' song - that's in the playlist above.



Your invisible stare
each time you part
echoes mutely in the empty
drops
of the dripping souls.

The 'could have been'
scares me
and city torpor becomes
evident.

Each drop of rain is a possible baptism.
All the sleeping faces
the gasoline fog
that sad lady besides
the brutal whimper of the trains
everything that did not be
is free.

We owe nothing,
we need nothing -
repeat the dead in the street
in a procession
Unsayable.

a poem - just ~rambling on~ ...

got a cut in my finger i don't know where it's from
maybe it's just my thorns that overgrown
breaking the fourth wall i wish i wish i wish i had one
they're breaking the fourth wall, can i lower the curtains?

i'd jump off
i'd jump off but there's no water
and i don't wanna crack
i don't wanna crack i don't wanna crack
but i'm too tired to swim

got a cut in my finger, don't know where it's from
maybe it's just my thorns, they're overgrown
now i feel they aren't worthy and
what is feel is really nothing
but they're breaking the fourth wall
breaking the fourth wall,
can i lower the curtains?

Will you release me?
Will you save me?

I don't wanna crack, I don't wanna crack
but I'm too tired to swim

got a cut in my finger dom't know where it's from
maybe it's just my thorns that overgrown
and  suck my own blood as a denial to strangers
i suck my own blood but it opens a wound
and i'd jump off, i had so many opportunities
i'd jump off but i don't wanna crack
i'm too tired to live, can i open the curtains?
i don't wanna crack, i wanna go home
i just wanna go home, can i lower the curtains?

will you release me?
will you save me?
i wanna go home but i'm too tired to swim
can i lower the curtains?
can i lower the curtains?
can i l o w e r t h e c u r t a i n s?
it's almost over it's almost ver you're almost there
can i lower the curtains???